"How I'm Suppose To Breathe With No Air?"

Jordan Sparks song "No Air" couldn't have been timed more perfectly today as I took on the treadmill. I've decided to turn a new leaf and get back on track (at least for the time being). So while Lil' man was taking his naps today, I hit the treadmill ... walking. Yeah, not running - or at least not today but that is soon to come.

I cranked up the speed, added some incline and before long I'm dying. You see, we have a wood stove down stairs that pumps heat right into our family room and I was doing laundry - so the dryer was also running. It's a sauna without the water and steam.

I've been trying to decide all day whether or not I was 'hoofing' it or 'huffing' it... Hoofing makes me sound like a barn animal where as huffing makes me sound like I've been doing drugs. I guess barn animal it is.

So I was hoofing it, taking hills (incline) as fast as my short legs would allow. I think to myself, "I sure wish I had a fan"... Lucky for me, the treadmill has one built in - I had a brain fart for a minute. I turn the small fan on and have instant relief.

Just than 'No Air' comes on. I giggle to myself.

And than it happened...

Ned farts. Not only is he laying in front of the treadmill but my 'instant relief' fan has picked up the fart and is now blowing it in my face. Nice. Now, I really can't breathe because Ned farts are lethal - they are clear the room, make you gag farts and he just blew one in my face. He's such a jerk.

Just for the record, I made it - all 3.6 miles...